I’m Nicole Lewis. A self-love and self-care creator, advocate, speaker, writer, goddess-preneur.
I was born and raised in the heart of New York City to an Afro-Caribbean family blended with Cuban, Brazilian, and Bahamian roots. A mixture of the best of my worlds that make me who I am to the root of my core. From the music, to the dancing, to the cooking, to the hair you name it. The youngest of three children making me eight and eleven years younger than my siblings, I always found that I was in my own world, doing my own thing, and alone for most of the time.
While I navigated through life, my high school and my college years were the testament to how strong I could be. I just didn’t know it back then. At age fifteen I was sexually abused for the second time in my life. Raped by my teenage boyfriend. That’s how I lost my virginity. A moment in my life that felt like it erased all the innocence and joy from my soul. That’s where my insecurities took a turn for the worse. It is when the spiral began.
In and out of therapy after school to make up for the conversations that I couldn’t have with my family. Seventeen is when I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression. Although I had friends, a split up but still loving family, I kept spiraling down this destructive path letting my mind do what it wanted to with no control.
Time went on and other events in my life occurred that only felt like a continuation of the feeling that started when I was fifteen. I knew I had people to talk to but no matter what I said the “tough love” that came with expressing myself was not what I needed at that time. I couldn’t manage it anymore. The pressure that was coming from being strong and having a brave face was starting to wear on me. At nineteen I made the decision to end it all. I was done. Or so I thought.
For three months family and friends would visit me in the hospital unaware of the depths of negativity, insecurity, pressure, doubts, fears that I was dealing with. A few months after coming out of the hospital, I went to visit my grandmother in the hospital. The whole time I was away she was dying of cancer. Wanting to spend every moment with her, some of our last conversations is what I held dear to me. What I thought was the downfall of my life actually became the start of my healing journey. She revealed to me exactly who I was and who I could be if I just believed in myself instead of looking for validation from others.
Here’s what’s up
So the journey began. When I couldn’t find the answers from others I looked to myself for it. I kept saying that I wanted to show up for myself in a way that no one had for me before. I wanted to get to a place that the life I spoke about with my grandmother was the life that I was going to create. So I started doing the work. Heavy reading, podcasts, workbooks, seminars, you name it. Anything revolving around self-cafe and self-love I was obsessed with.
For the next 10 years I would dedicate my life to my wholistic wellness. Mind, body, soul, spirit wellness. Rooted in spirituality, I started to realize that the loneliness I felt, the imposter syndrome I dealt with on the daily was all in my mind. Back then I was navigating my own darkness (which felt scary at the time) with nothing other than thinking that the life I was living couldn’t be it and that there was something greater for me. Love for myself was missing but I returned back to it.
I share my story to inspire each and everyone of you who is wanting to make a change. There will be challenges, you will fail, you will lose certain things and people in your life but after all, you will win. My overall goal is to guide you on your path to your own inner power, building confidence, changing your mindset and manifesting the life of your dreams. I thought I couldn’t get here but look at me today.
