Are You Walking In Self-Love?

Do you drag yourself down when you see someone living their best life?

In other words you are not comparing yourself to others because you know that we are all different and meant to live different lives. How many times have you gone on Instagram and seen a photo of a celebrity and start comparing yourself? It happens so often you probably are not even aware when you are. People who love themselves are able to separate how they feel about themselves from how they feel about other people. But don’t be too hard on yourself. Sometimes these patterns and behaviors arise from our environment and our daily experiences. It might be helpful to get out a journal and write down the reasons as to why you may react in a negative way. Take some time to think about it. Writing it down in a journal might help you to discover where your patterns or behaviors come from. 

Do you listen to your body’s cues?

What I mean by this is when your body is telling you to rest, to eat, when it’s uncomfortable, you listen to it. If you love yourself you are going to listen to the physical signs that your body is giving you. You recognize what it’s telling you, you respect it and honor it. Most of the time we choose to stay in uncomfortable situations or stay under stress because we want to please someone else. Learn to make time for what matters to you. Learn to prioritize your body. Make that doctor’s appointment yoy have been holding off or join that sisterhood healing circle for your chakras. Try a night time routine where you can focus on your body right before bed. Don’t forget that you are a human with a body that needs rest. Rest is revolutionary!

Are you able to form and adhere to your boundaries?

So what does that look like? That looks like knowing your limits, knowing what you can and cannot tolerate and being able to communicate or vocalize that. Or what I like to call speaking up for myself in all areas of my life. That doesn’t mean to communicate in an aggressive or rude way but to know that it is perfectly alright to speak up for yourself. It’s another way for you to show up for yourself. You have every right to tell someone what you like and dislike. A person who doesn’t walk in self-love might not even know when their boundaries are being crossed or choose not to speak up when their boundaries are crossed. Not doing so is only doing a disservice to yourself. Setting boundaries is a way for you to set the life that you want and living it the way that you see it without the irrelevant distractions around you. Remember that people cannot read your mind and do not always know what you want. So set those boundaries and let people know what’s up.

Are you living in a state of gratitude?

Being grateful for your resources, finances, your looks and the list goes on. When you don’t live in a state of gratitude or love yourself you tend to reach for what others have because you think it’s going to fill a void which is not the case. The void is self-love. Love yours and what is around you. Tune in to what you have and not what you do not. It’s the perfect reflection of self-love. How could you love yourself and not be grateful for who you are and what you have? It just doesn’t add up right.

What’s your social life like?

You are very intentional about the people that you choose to be in your life. You surround yourself around people who lift you up, motivate you, speak kind words about you. They are people who lift up and nourish your spirit. This is your own community that you can feel safe in. You have a tribe that is down to ride and fly with you through life. That high-vibrational living with your homegirls. This also means that you have no problem cutting people out because you care about the energy around you. Having toxic people or energy around you is only going to open the door for you to adopt those toxic traits. Don’t do it boo. The people you keep around you is a reflection of you as well. Remember that.

What does your self-talk sound like?

When you have self-forgiveness you don’t spend time talking down on yourself because you know that you are human and we all make mistakes. Instead you choose to be there for yourself but speaking in a loving way that lets you know that everything is going to be alright. How many times have we messed up something and have said things like, “why am I so stupid?” or “what’s wrong with me?” Why do you allow your mind to say the cruelest things to yourself that you would never say to anyone else.

Do you get defensive when others give you criticism?

Now this might be the hardest one for some of you because it’s hard not to defend yourself all the time. But when someone has an idea or an opinion about you that they have constructed in a negative way, and you know yourself, you’re not going to spend or waste time and energy defending yourself. You know who you are and that’s what matters. Even if someone gives you constructive criticism in a positive way, it is still your choice to choose whether or not to take that person's advice.